Essay: Imagine that you are facing a challenge and you are not sure you can be successful. Name three things you could do to raise your belief in yourself.
Student Answer: I'm not sure. You can say all these things about self-efficacy, but I can't necessarily believe them. If I actually tried to improve my confidence, I'd probably listen to the compliments people give me (the rare ones, and/or the ones from adult figures that have to appreciate your work.) I'd think about all the hard things I accomplished already, and the fact that I'm still alive. The choice of not killing myself takes a really strong person. I could also self-inflate. I could pretend that I'm actually good at the things I do. I could stare at every little detail of what I do and praise myself for them, but that's awfully difficult. I'm better at sucking it up and doing what I can. It doesn't matter what I look like, it doesn't matter that my crushing mental state affects everything I do, it doesn't matter that I'd rather be dead right now. I could go to therapy again. I could take medications again. I could stop being so freaking gloomy, I could stop being such a buzzkill, but my self-hatred won't stop eating me up inside. The people who hurt me, like my parents, and their stupid one-off comments that I let affect me made me the person I am today- An annoying, stubborn, selfish little idiot who wants to die. It's funny how I managed to get this far, which isn't even that far at all, I should've died at birth. Me living is so troublesome to everyone, and I should get the memo and off myself before it's too late. Aha, I'm probably getting too personal, apologies. You see what I mean though. |
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